unFathomable Envisagement,Imperfectly Perfect

Everything flew past my eyes just like how seconds passed by Weeks and weeks gone and only now I begin to realise it's almost towards the year end, which means, the 1st semester finals are coming sooooon.... Yet, I'm still stuck in my own world. There's difficulty to catch up especially when everything more and more burdens begin to weigh you down, plus every other thing starts crumbling down. Confidence. gone. Perseverance. gone. Faith. gone. What are the things I could fall back in when most of the things I CAN BE confident in goes topsy-turvy? There is alot of getting used to, adjusting to frequent abrupt changes in life in NUS. It can't be that bad, right? Yes. It can be. I have tonnes of things undone. I am slow. slow= much time wasted = no time for other crucial stuff ( relaxation of the mind, physical exercise etc.) Just recently, the Sg news mentioned new regarding the lack of registered pharmacist and how pharmacists are working 12 hours a day with their pay n...

Another week has passed. This week has been total frenzy, and perhaps why I'm making an excuse to spend my SUNDAY, my only free day lazying away. swt. To me, the week starts on Monday. And without you realising, it's already Friday. Going to classes EARLY in the morning, and coming back late at night seem very much like working hours. The only thing you anticipate is Friday, the end of the hectic week and you get 2 days to catch up with your own time. Yet , yesterday we had an AGM meeting which lasted for 7 hours!! Another day gone. Tired. THe next day, which is today, all you want to do is have a good REST before the cycle starts all over again until next Friday. Sad but true. I'm always anticipating my Friday nights, Saturday nights and Sunday and hopefully I will keep them free from lectures/meetings/ blabla stupiak stuff. I want time to be doing my own things. Be it my own revision, or hw etc. I just want to have time for myself. I'm pretty much worried about the th...

If there's one thing I would change... I wish I am not who I am It's a hard struggle for being who I am sometimes Yet if I am not myself, then who else can I be? I am bored, mad, and sick of myself Yet, I can't do much to change that Cos I am me, and it's up to myself So ..heck, Me vs who I want to be Who do i want to be? A better me.. swt - _-

Frustated. Bored. Wanting to do certain things yet other things do not permit me to do so. Emotionally in pain. Moments of stress spent ALONE is as terrible as hell ... While others are having fun, you're stuck on your bench. What the heck! Piss off!

It isn't exactly true to say that I'm very extremely unhappy with the life I'm having now. It isn't exactly true to say that I'm very extremely bad and suck in my studies. In fact, I'm grateful to having things others may not have. Grateful, I am. Right now, I spectate many and various changes I see in the people I know. Those I know for long, those I've known a few years ago and those I've known a year ago. Change is inevitable. No use dwelling in the past sometimes ;prefering to hang out with the person you used to know who has changed into another person you're unfamiliar with right now. What people usually do is to move on. Yes, you can talk about it, can comment about it. Friendships are thus unpredictable. Before, the idea of friendship was very 'true' to me. It isn't easy having a bestfriend, and you don't usually go around finding for a best friend, right? Hence, having someone to be able to share your burdens, to sincerely be...

The semester has begun..I still can't fathom that the 3 months holidays have just passed by like that..it's 3 months, not 3 weeks... Still, I'm quite unprepared for all the responsibilities in front of me. I'm very much held back and once again, I feel lost in the clouds. aimless without a purpose. I still wonder why I am doing pharmacy. It is THAT bad. I was very furious days ago as I couldn't get the module I wanted. Sigh. Eventually I got Thai Language Level 1. OK. Sounds nice. but 6 hours of tutorials per week inclusive of one final exam is not at all pleasant. Plus, my timetable this semester is WHOA. Of 4 modules, 3 LAB sessions for 3 modules. Classes everyday at 8am, except WEd, which is at 9am SWT. And these freaky classes sometimes end at 6pm. Even until 8pm. zzzzz In addition to that, I had to accumulate points to guarantee my stay in campus. sheesh. Should I or should I not go for the NUSpharm exco?? Sometimes, I really hate responsibilities, wish I could...

I had been feeling topsy turvey lately. Sometimes it's only a small matter and I'll begin to feel all weird and down. I have billions of things wanting to say from the heart yet when I start to blog, nothing seems to be coming out. I told myself, no use mourning over small, frivolous matters. It's a real struggle to control emotions. I don't know what it is, it's probably a combination of everything. I get annoyed when I start comparing. Hence I should avoid comparing too often. I get moody when I start thinking about the past. No use thinking bout the past. Hence, I should think about here and now. People change. That's undeniably true. It takes time, and changes may be caused by a trigger, large enough to undoubtedly change someone without realising it. I've seen changes in people I know. I wish to change. But, have I actually changed? If yes, it is definitely for the worse. I feel like I'm not mature enough to face the world. Looks can be deceiving. Y...