Race against time, crazy and bored yet choiceless

Everything flew past my eyes just like how seconds passed by

Weeks and weeks gone and only now I begin to realise it's almost towards the year end, which means, the 1st semester finals are coming sooooon....

Yet, I'm still stuck in my own world. There's difficulty to catch up especially when everything more and more burdens begin to weigh you down, plus every other thing starts crumbling down. Confidence. gone. Perseverance. gone. Faith. gone. What are the things I could fall back in when most of the things I CAN BE confident in goes topsy-turvy?

There is alot of getting used to, adjusting to frequent abrupt changes in life in NUS. It can't be that bad, right? Yes. It can be. I have tonnes of things undone. I am slow. slow= much time wasted = no time for other crucial stuff ( relaxation of the mind, physical exercise etc.)

Just recently, the Sg news mentioned new regarding the lack of registered pharmacist and how pharmacists are working 12 hours a day with their pay not in par with their nearly full time commitment in the healthcare arena. Okay.This worries me even more. Basically if in future, I were to work in the hospital, I would be working for approximately 12 hours a day, excluding Sats and Sundays where there may be chances of calling you back for OT. Swt.

Do I really want to work in a hospital?

Do I really want to be a registered pharmacist?

Most importantly, will I qualify?

Just last week, I found out that for 4th year students to be able to do a FYP, their CAP has to be 3.7 and above.

Fine. I am NEVER interested in research. Even so, Would I again, qualify for FYP? It seems so far-fetched.

I am indeed losing much confidence. Sometimes, it really dawned on me that I may not be in the correct course. Interest and passion vs. your ability. Both very different things. The saddest thing is to have passion but lack the ability to realise the passion.

Anyway, should the gvmt be bringing in more foreign pharmacist? Yes, short term it may help, but for long term, I guess they should start increasing the pharmacy cohort, not only in NUS, but also in the SG Polytechnic. hrm. Perhaps this is good news for Malaysian pharmacist as they may get their chance to work in Sg. That is, after they have served the Msian government for a period of time.

Headaches and more headaches.

~It is not easy to balance yourself on a ball which has the nature to roll. Sometimes, you just have to roll with it to keep things going ; may it or may it not be of your own will~

cheers~

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