unFathomable Envisagement,Imperfectly Perfect

It’s 12.16am at night. Still early. I’m about to sleep when I started thinking back about my life all these while back at home. The feeling is weird. It is something so alien I don’t understand how time passed so fast without realizing that I’m at a foreign land. What are the things I do over here? Sole purpose: STUDY. I have my own room as to compared to a shared one with my 2 other brothers. Even smaller than the one I have now. Yet, whenever I’m in my room for too long a time, I get lonely. What I have with me is a laptop, and books to study. And of course, my bed for sleeping purpose. Without them, this room is only walls and ceiling and fan and nothing else. I yearn to get a subwoofer to make my room more ‘livelier’. At least, there will be music with me at the times I need them most. While I couldn’t close my eyes for a night’s sleep tonight. I started thinking about the many things that have happened back home. The things that used to keep me company without paying much attentio...

It is just hopeless. People study to score, whereas I study to fail I just don't know what I can do anymore. Isn't it paradoxical that the more you study, the more you tend to fail? I have given up much hopes. and Yes, now I pray that I'm able to pull through 4 years; not without failing, but graduating When you don't see the slightest light , you lose aim. Where shall I aim for next? where is the path? I can't see the path in front of me. Forever lost.

Today is one special day I can never forget. One word " Happy" =) It is rather weird that few days before today last year, the person was here , all the time pursuing yet I didn't paid much attention. And then, a few days after today last year, it felt as though it was hard to believe that I'm actually deserving something so 'beautiful'. Then, I come to realise that the many things I've gone through so far, is meant to happen for a reason. In fact, everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, you tend to wonder, why was I being held back by unfortunate events, or why was I chosen to be stuck at harsh situations . Yes, indeed you will experience something against your own will, yet, you have to believe that God is protecting you from something else more harsh, or something else that may have a higher chance of harming you. With what you have now, with what you have been given now, it is best to be content. Be grateful. Do not take things for granted. AND che...

I wish I could blog in some foreign language no one can understand. I have been wasting much time. Well it just so happens when I desperately wanna blog about eventful event I tend to get distracted and eventually put off the mood to do so anymore. When I'm superbly down, I have all the time to blog and mourn about every dissatisfaction I have. Fuh. Sometimes ppl say certain things happen because of God's will. Is it God's will have hinder me from doing what I'm supposed to do now? After awhile, I get terribly discouraged in plethora of things. Friendship is questionable, Studies I can never excel, Personal develpment I'm still lacking, and all the other things I think it's best not said. "The best person is one who fails, learn from mistakes, and develop much more from there'. Well, then I guess this person has to fail many many many many many times... and yet, try his best no to get discouraged by THAT MANY failures. Yes, indeed it is the hardest thin...