I am super worried. SO many of the unwanted unecessary things happening lately. Work has been crazy already and now there's employment pass to settle, unusual medical results which may indicate I have some sort of renal disease, finding out that my next 3 weeks will have total of 3 hours spent on travelling alone to and fro work everyday as i'll be attached to far far away...SUCKS Everything sucks. My health is deteriorating, physically, mentally and emotionally I am in a bad state. I understand that nothing is more important than my own health..and hence I should first tell my mind that I should take things easy. Yet, the thoughts just couldn't stop running across the BRAIN. Even when I'm asleep I have nightmares of dispensing and drugs and patients...I wake up in the middle of the night and have to realise that I am actually sleeping and NOT working..I wake up in the morning feeling sad and appetite-less. I feel nauseated. I come home feeling uninterested in all the t...
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Showing posts from June, 2010
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It is scary. Everyday I keep wondering if I'm on the wrong path. Everyday I keep thinking why didn't I persist to do something else that makes me a happier person..I was indecisive..and here i am..doing something I really don't like since the beginning.. It is double the toughness coz I have to force myself to like it , I don't have a choice. I have responsibilities.. Seeing others being content with what they're doing now, all happy and ready..I feel envious.. I feel envious because they are sure that this is their path.. Why am I so indecisive that I go blindly into something where I couldn't meet even my own expectations? Not that they are too high..I barely pass the line.. It is TORMENTING. I really try hard. My 'mild' depression started since year 1 and yet I don't realise how it will impact me NOW and more days to come for the rest of my lives. Unless... Unless I could take the BIG LEAP..to do something else more satisfying.. I need to fill my ...