It has to end somewhere.
Feelings are harder to express when going online simply means no privacy.

I just wish my 9 months will end soon. 8 more months to go. and I'm still far behind.
Yet, I do not care.
Pass or fail, I just want my life back
It doesn't mean tho that I do not do anything
I still struggle to meet expectations that are demanding and ever so high
I just wish to pass. Even if I fail, I will have no regrets..
It is my life
and I want my life.
At least I want stop feeling dreadful for BEING at work and even after work.
I want to go to work feeling it's a norm rather than a chore.
I want to go to work feeling a sense of satisfaction in terms of completing task that I CAN MANAGE and succeed and feel good about in rather than no sense of anything but depressed and lost of interest in WHATEVER I DO.
I want to feel a sense of belonging and confidence rather than I hope I belong and I hope I will gain confidence.
Most importantly, I want to get out of Pharmacy, turnover a new leaf, and live life more meaningful than just being stuck at a Pharmacy dealing with drugs and patients.
I want to explore the world, learn new things, pick up new hobbies, meet more people, and find myself.
I want to explore where my true calling is..and I hope it will lead me to a happier being..
I want internal peace and not the day-to-day grueling arguments within me which brings me to nowhere but sadness and depression.
I want to earn a decent living, sufficient to live and enjoy life as it goes.
Money is not everything, happiness is. And with happiness comes better health.
Not being depressed working in healthcare and believing that drugs do miracles- it is ironic that i'm in healthcare yet i'm mentally, emotionally and physically unhealthy.
8 months.

DearvGod please guide me through this journey .
Grant me strength and courage to hang on no matter what happens.

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