Gibberish
Have you ever felt as though you're losing myriad of significant things that is identifiable to you, that is significant to you, that matters much in giving you confidence and hope, that is able to take away much of the worries and transform those worries into a few hours of indescribable feelings; immersed deeply into the subconscious mind with great pleasure and tranquility?
How about able to do that 'one thing' deftly without fear of being only an average, or even failing? That 'one thing' you once have that was able to lift your spirits high, and the only thing you would worry is that you've spent too much time on it, yet, not wanting to be restricted with time. Unknowingly, 2 hours is equivalent to only 30 minutes, and you have not a slight feeling to stop and give up. Now, you can only talk and boast about it but can never be as good as you once were.
You thought perhaps some other more practical thing would be able to replace this 'thing' that once signified you. No. You regret. Environment changes everything. You cannot go back. And you're stuck with this new thing trying hell hard to excel in it. Giving you much pain in the ass. What is the reason for all of these? To satisfy a more practical need. Yes. This new thing is a noble choice. But it took away my life. It took away my passion and what I have is pure knowledge of this new thing which I doubt I am able to foster a new self identity with it.
You can say I'm blaming the environment and perhaps a humanistic idealist would say that human beings ( that includes me I hope) have the free will to choose their lives and environment and determine their own destiny. The world is not as ideal as it is. So do humans. If everyone has the chance to choose their lives and environment to live in, why would there be so many impoverished , poor people, and the hierarchy in careers where people are divided into blue collar jobs and white collar jobs? Is it because the lower class of people CHOOSE TO be in their class? Ok, you may say it is because they feel inferior. So...they chosed to be inferior. They chosed to be in the lower class of people. And what influences that? genes? society? environment?
Well then if i get to choose,
I choose not to study for my finals.
But...
what determines right and what determines wrong?
The moral values instilled since young and the society's perception.
If I don't study..I am a irresponsible student.
And so,
I am forced to study.
To hell with exams.
To heaven with no life.
How about able to do that 'one thing' deftly without fear of being only an average, or even failing? That 'one thing' you once have that was able to lift your spirits high, and the only thing you would worry is that you've spent too much time on it, yet, not wanting to be restricted with time. Unknowingly, 2 hours is equivalent to only 30 minutes, and you have not a slight feeling to stop and give up. Now, you can only talk and boast about it but can never be as good as you once were.
You thought perhaps some other more practical thing would be able to replace this 'thing' that once signified you. No. You regret. Environment changes everything. You cannot go back. And you're stuck with this new thing trying hell hard to excel in it. Giving you much pain in the ass. What is the reason for all of these? To satisfy a more practical need. Yes. This new thing is a noble choice. But it took away my life. It took away my passion and what I have is pure knowledge of this new thing which I doubt I am able to foster a new self identity with it.
You can say I'm blaming the environment and perhaps a humanistic idealist would say that human beings ( that includes me I hope) have the free will to choose their lives and environment and determine their own destiny. The world is not as ideal as it is. So do humans. If everyone has the chance to choose their lives and environment to live in, why would there be so many impoverished , poor people, and the hierarchy in careers where people are divided into blue collar jobs and white collar jobs? Is it because the lower class of people CHOOSE TO be in their class? Ok, you may say it is because they feel inferior. So...they chosed to be inferior. They chosed to be in the lower class of people. And what influences that? genes? society? environment?
Well then if i get to choose,
I choose not to study for my finals.
But...
what determines right and what determines wrong?
The moral values instilled since young and the society's perception.
If I don't study..I am a irresponsible student.
And so,
I am forced to study.
To hell with exams.
To heaven with no life.
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